Official Devastation

It is generally considered that people are inherently good, that given the choices, ultimately the good, humane, kind, and loving choice will always be made.

The holidays try with all their might to convince us of this, painting warm and fuzzy pictures of the way things should be… but after the year I’ve experienced and the things I’ve seen, the holidays only seem to glaringly make the true reality of things all the more apparent.

This world is a golly-gee-damn mess.
Definitely more Scrooge & Marleys than Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

If the happy happy joy joy picture of the world portrayed to us is how things should be, then how depressing to look at that, then look out the window and see how things are!

Maybe the holidays and their feel-good movies are intended to try to manipulate the emotions and activate pre-planted brainwashing within us, to inspire us to act out what we are shown… or maybe they are simply nostalgic memories of how things used to be, before the place went up in flames.

Does this mean everything is hopeless?
Has it all gone too far, beyond repair?

How does anything we do or don’t do make any difference at all?
Does “shining our light” really make any dent in the “darkness” whatsoever?
Why the hell are we exhausting all our time and energy trying to change this world from being… hell?


And then…


My wife and I receive word the day after Christmas—I mean, holiday—that one of our regular clients and friends over at Fox.and.Owl [Metaphysical Manifestations] passed away in her sleep early Christmas morning… and that she had left us a message saying that she loved us and appreciated us in her life very much…



For real??

WE were one of someone’s final thoughts—enough so that a specific message was left for us?
We touched a life THAT much??

In a world where everyone avoids responsibility at any cost, fights for themselves at any price, and bullies, harasses, and manipulates even their own flesh and blood to get what they want, someone listened? Someone was actually moved?
By us??




Maybe it is all worth it…
Maybe I need to go on…

Maybe it is important to be here…



  1. Mom says:

    You are DEFINITELY needed to be in this world.. YOU have always had to fight for your own place in this life. There is a higher calling for your life influence and existence in this world. Do not give up or give in to defeat of the evil that also exists in the world.

    How special to be remembered during a last breath <3

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