Lesson of the month:
When we take no time for ourselves, we have nothing to give even our dearest loved ones.
If I let the neverending chores and things that need doing (things that will ever be marching in, ever neverending) constantly take my time and energy first, there will never be anything left for me, which fuels my giving to others, namely, my family.
Is it really okay to let the kitchen sit until tomorrow? It will take more to clean two days’ worth tomorrow, but yes, it is okay…
Is it the end of the world to admit I need to postpone mowing the grass or organizing the house for an hour or two to slip into that creative space where more than just art is processed? Only to the O-C-D of my controlling E-G-O…
Is it failure to tell Melissa I need to meditate or read or write for a bit before we do this other thing, when we have such little time alone together to begin with? Momentarily disappointing perhaps, but she is loving and understanding, and sees (and tells me!) that by taking care of myself I am taking care of us… There is more to taking care of our family than physically doing things with and/or for each one.
And that is another point— I am not alone.
Melissa is not only my lover and my Half, she is my equal.
We share this mission.
This planet is not for my shoulders alone.
Otherwise, things progress so far I am on the floor crying, and have to take care of myself, unable to give myself to even my daughter when she is needing her daddy— my daughter I promised I would forgo sleeping or eating for…
After being sick for half a week, and my body fighting its way back to normal levels the rest of that week, I am now very aware just how much our physical health affects our emotional, mental, and spiritual health… our actions and reactions are not as watched or disciplined if we are unhealthy, upset, or angry… everything affects everything… we must be mindful to always take care of ourselves on every level, and in that way we are truly caring for and Loving others— and ourselves.
But when we do sit on the floor, we are not bad.
We have not failed.
We’ve only sat down.
I have been studying just exactly what it means to be a Warrior.
I’ve always felt aversion to this word, this idea… I hate war… I cannot stand violence… but I was mistaken in my understanding of what Warrior meant… Being a warrior means committing to our best… standing up and continuing on… to be wise and kind and gentle to ALL life— and we ourselves are included in the category of Life.
Do to others as you’d have them do to you.
Do to yourself as you’d do to others.
Do to yourself as you’d do to others…