(not)Dying

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Two nights ago, I felt the most free I’ve ever felt.
 
Induced by silliness, joking, and a releasing of everything, I looked at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth, and could not help but laugh hysterically!
 
What is so tremendously heavy that all else dims and rusts in light of it? What is this image I protect so fiercely against offense, ridicule and embarrassment? What does it change at all if another thinks this or thinks that? What does it matter if someone is angry with me? What is this comparison I judge myself “good enough” or “not” against?
 
Does all that feel good? No.
 
Does it feel better to be light, joyful, loving, permissive, silly, accepting and… clear? Yes. Much.
 
 
In the letting go and setting aside of this body, this form, this immersion, this controlling, I touched a peace so deeply rooted, a strength so firmly branched, and a laughter so joyously flexible I felt I was in tune with and in love with everything!
 
So that is truly what is meant by “nothing really matters,” “everything is empty” and “there is no self…”
 
 
 
After weeks of glaring, scorching one hundred-plus temperatures, we finally have a beautiful cool, rainy day here in Oklahoma City… a grace reflective of these feelings.
 
Can this realization be held in sight? Can I keep these feelings in mind and keep my grip loose, steering myself towards the habit of this Life?
 
It will take practice and effort, as it is with anything on this plane…
 
 
Nothing is “life or death” extremity… I am Me, where I am at this moment, where I’m heading at this moment… what is, is… it is not my job or even my responsibility to make anyone else happy or pleased… I am perfect in every way, exactly as I need to be, right here, right now. 
 
It is exactly as The Beatles encourage: Turn off your mind, relax, and float downstream… it is not dying… it is not dying. 
 
 
 
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One comment

  1. Melissa Rae says:

    You never cease to amaze me you wonderous man. Everything is vital. Nothing is important. All is. Nothing is. All or None. Complex riddles that flex and reflex the soul. Who am I? Who are you? I am You. You are me. And on and on the rhythm goes with different words according to the time … the age … the reason we choose to live within or without. Circle or square. Here or there. Now or then. Past or Present.Release.Exhale. Tomorrow is another day.

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