The Fruitful Darkness

The Fruitful Darkness

Trevor Hall
The Fruitful Darkness

 

For the second time in my life, Trevor Hall has given my heart and mind a voice in times of difficulty, times of processing, and times of major metamorphosing and shape-shifting. As I wrote in 2014 about his Chapter of the Forest album, his most recent album, The Fruitful Darkness, has now seeped into every crack of my soul and let enough Light in for my Eyes to see (again) I am not alone. Though it was released in 2017 and it’s now 2020, I didn’t get around to downloading and listening to it until I was sitting here in the Worldwide COVID-19 Quarantine (I’m on shelter-in-place day 46 as I write this), once again confirming that things come to us in perfect timing or sit on our shelf and wait until it is our time for it as so many of my books have done. There are no coincidences, everything’s right on time.

The description of darkness being fruitful–actually being beneficial–makes you cringe. When we are going through dark and difficult times of change or upheaval or loss, it feels incredibly difficult and painful and horrible. But fruitful?? That sounds happy, even grateful. Trevor sings The fruitful darkness is all around us, in bloom, reminding that growth is happening in the darkness, even when there is no light to see it. Even if we cannot see it yet, we can have faith that fruit, ripe for picking, is right next to us. It’s not easy. I had to find my way through the darkness, he explains, reminding us it won’t be until we keep going, keep walking, and break through to the other side into the light that we will get to see the fruit that bloomed with us in the middle of that darkness.

Feelings of frustration and anger are common to everyone going through dark nights, and we are not alone in this either. I’m still learning how to walk in my fire, live in my fire, love in my fire, he explains in Sagittarius, confessing what some may perceive as weakness to show us it is okay to still be learning, to not yet be perfect in these precious human bodies, to get up and keep trying each new hour. We bring ourselves back to center, reminding ourselves who we are: I am that I am, what I am, love I am–that I am.

As we emerge further from the pitch-black darkness into lighter shades of grey, moving toward the light, the gratefulness can begin to set in, gratefulness for the strengths and qualities we start to notice have begun developing in us as a result of the dark journey. There’s darkness all around me, I’m so glad it found me!

Gratefulness and higher-vibe thinking then opens the way to begin taking back control of our existence, dreaming of who we can be, what we can build from these shattered pieces and budding strengths laying at our feet. We find the freedom to begin consciously choosing our perspective and our reality. We realize that perhaps we were not displaced after all, that maybe my home is where I wander. But it’s still not easy. There is still work to be done.

If I was a warrior, what would be my weapon? Forgiveness… laughter… sound. My riches, sky and ground. It takes constant mindfulness, purposely choosing our view, turning darkness sublime in a blue sky mind to keep weaving ahead.

What I know is that I don’t know, he chants, moving forward, reaching for the light, facing the unknown, facing and dragging fears into the exposure of the light. He discovers and keeps in mind A Reminder that he can face nothing if he is not in balance, not in his center: When you’ve lost your way, colors start to fade, take a look within, find your offering, hold it to the sun, let your Spirit run, Remember, remember find your center–my love, it’s just a reminder: find your center.

It’s my choice to be joyful… I’ve got to be free.

Trevor wraps up the journey perfectly with a powerful mantra that sticks in my head constantly and becomes my own all day every day:
I have everything I need
I have everything I need
I have everything I need
From the mountain to the sea
All of this is within me
I have everything I need
I have everything I need

(Don’t be afraid!)

This The Fruitful Darkness album is to me another master painting hanging in a museum I can’t stop visiting and just sitting, absorbing, listening to it speak and remind me who I AM, and what it is to be human.

The fruitful darkness is all around us
And
We have everything we need.

So, all we’re going through, whatever new normal will settle in beyond this:
My Love, it’s just a reminder: find your center. 

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