Bloodshot Eyes

I come from a line of unshakable Christians and preachers, and even now, nearly all of my relatives—immediate and distant—follow that genetic path without question…

Ministry is in my blood.

But it has always been very clear to me I have different eyes.

I have the sort of eyes one receives on a mountaintop, after conversing directly with the Creator, after whirling dervishly in perfect and subconscious synchronicity with one’s brothers and the Divine, after touching the Universe itself via the walkie-talkie embedded within one’s own Heart—the eyes of the mystic who finds God in all things, light and shadow…

And I have reached the point where I can no longer do nothing.

Of course, I do not mean to imply that they or any other do not find true connection with God in their chosen ways. My thoughts are only on the contrast I see around me between following rigidly set rules, and naturally following the flow of the Heart and the direct connection and communion with the Universe that brings with it—between the enforcing of bubbles, and the popping of bubbles.

Just as Jesus spent eighteen years in retreat, studying and focusing on spiritual growth to prepare for that which was to come before emerging to embrace the Whole as it is, raw and naked, it is now time for me to emerge, a spirit bear coming out of hibernation at the dawn of spring.

I am aware this active engagement calls for a new boldness, a new strength, a new level of authenticity… but how can I not? How can any of us not?

Yet even in this,
a balance,
a middle way.

There is danger in extremities on BOTH ends of the spectrum.
Not so passive as a sheep.
Not so activist as a wolf.

To everything there is a time.

Time—though an illusion—never slows.
There will be times when one must slow, as one’s own self-care and self-healing must be paid mind first and foremost, if one is to make any difference at all here, but still there will be other times when action is called for and can be done or said or not-done and not-said.

May the discernment and discretion to know each be with us all.

And so it is. <3




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