Undead

.
 
I have had enough.
 
I have lost so much time— wasted so much time, immersed in… what?
 
I have searched and searched, and can find absolutely no reason for the presence of fear in one’s life.
Whether manifesting as anger, worry, agitation, frustration, or impatience, all these are fear in masks of shifting colors… all clamp a vice on my chest and turn, turn, tighter and tighter… steal my breath… cloud my eyes… clog my ears… blindfold my vision… snuff my mind… close my heart… until all are submerged… drowned… asphyxiated in the ocean of me… it does not feel good.
 
And yet, where has it gone?
 
After all that life-or-death reacting… where is it now?
 
My lungs are free… my body strong… my eyesight clear… my hearing hears the All Around—
which does feel good.
 
The Grip always departs.
The Tide always recedes.
The Heat always extinguishes.
The Memory always fades.
 
I am always… fine.
 
 
 
So I wonder:
What if it never came?
What if the mud was never flung, and Clarity remained upon Her rightful throne?
 
Could the understanding, the wisdom, calm hindsight brings to our awareness be present and available to us in the heat of The Moment?
 
Is it possible to be able to see the reality of the situation now— to see from the future looking back to the present, in the present?
 
 
If I am still here now… unscathed… undead… unharmed in every way by those things that were around me in those moments… then… those things must be just as harmless in the midst of rearing their scary heads.
 
And are they scary? Are they truly fanged creatures lashing for my soul, or have I been afraid of teddy bears and gummy worms merely trying to play patty-cake?
 
 
 
As the Sun dawns on the fact I am really unaffected by anything outside of myself… I see all things truly are empty in themselves, unlabelled… and the only harm done is done to ourselves, by ourselves.
 
The choice of Cutting Off is our own doing.
And the choice of Growing is our own doing.
 
 
Whether our car is being towed away, or we are being showered with the pure, innocent Love of our children, are there any reasons at all we should not possess temperaments calm and steady… clear and bright… gentle and kind?
 
 
And just as all the emotional overload withers and dies within our own bodies, leaving no trace of where or what or why, and life continues happily on once again… so in others it must be the same.
 
Patience, Love… wait… you will not be harmed.
 
May I remember these things…
May I see through these things to the cause of the effects…
 
May I be the Light of the world,
lighting other twigs and branches one by one,
until our entire Forest rages with this Fire!
 
 
 
For LOVE is this Fire.
 
And LOVE
 
is
 
the opposite,
and the antidote
 
of
 
FEAR.
 
 
 
.

5 comments

  1. Jennifer says:

    Really nice re-dedication of yourself to being the Light. 🙂 It can be so difficult for us people who do not enjoy treading on others to gracefully keep our footing in this world we live in today. I think it's important to try to re-dedicate yourself anytime you have the energy to put forth towards it… otherwise we may be wasted and slip into the darkness where the leaders of darkness rule. We must keep up the fight! The fight for Light!

  2. wendy says:

    a friend shared this piece on FB the other day. i just wanted to say thank you for putting into words what i've been trying to say. my family and i have been through too much in the recent past and i simply got tired of being in fear….of everything…or maybe of nothing. so now i am simply putting one foot in front of the other. and living. thanks again, and always. wendy

  3. Wow.. thank you SO much, Wendy!That seriously means more than you know to me… not only the fact I am not alone in my reaching for the Stars, but that my own struggles have actually helped another, merely from my own example.Thank YOU. 🙂

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