I want to be the absolute best father on this planet for Julia.
I intend to be.
This is something I do not feel I had growing up.
I suppose every parent feels they want their children to have things better than they did. They look back over their own lives, and reflect on those things they feel they were robbed of, things they feel they themselves failed, or even things they just plain never had the opportunity of…
This item, I think, is at the top of my list.
Growing up with my father has already drastically changed how I shaped and molded myself over the years… a little boy watching furious bursts of anger… hating it… knowing that was not good, not how things were supposed to be… caused a vivid self-awareness in myself to make sure to not lose control in that way.
The expectations and demands that were placed on my mother was something else I knew was “off,” even as a small child… despite what “good Christian households” dictate, relationships should be equal in every aspect… chores should be shared… decisions should be mutual and discussed with open communication…
And children should be respected and shown Love and full attention.
Examine the pictures they drew with genuine interest!
Turn off the television, sincerely sit with them, and ask about their day… then listen!
Read to them what they want to hear!
Show some sort of response and reaction to their reaching for you!
And so these last twenty-one days, I have once again been looking back… remembering… feeling… and resolving. I will be a much better father than my father was. My daughter will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that her daddy adores every cell in her body. I will always be an available and present and seeing and hearing and understanding and calm and Loving father.
Yet this is my nature… the man I have grown to be, because of the father I had…
These things are not hard for me.
My Julia Renee shall be whole.