Yesterday marked my thirty-fifth year on this planet, and it seems the first to affect me in any sort of way, though not in the way you might think.
All previous birthdays have had no effect on me… older, sure, but this is just one of my bodies— its age means nothing. It’s always been just another day really…
This one seemed to bring with it some sort of Realization.
Realization of what I’ve accomplished.
Realization of what I’ve not accomplished.
Realization of where I am, and the choices/non-choices thereof.
Realization of where I am heading.
I’m not close to my family— immediate or extended…
All I have is my family— my wife and children…
When either external or internal circumstances bring pain and suffering on any of them, I find I have a powerful Daddy-Warrior inside that quickly fills the room, spreads his wings, and does whatever is necessary to protect…
When all is set aside…
When all is lifted…
Underneath is found…
So, despite all attempts and mindsets to be the free-flowing hippie lover artist author spiritual teacher healer, am I now really only…
I am really also This.
I have thirty-five layers
and on this mark of layer thirty-five,
I have to post:
I am me.
All of me.
My Heart would not survive any other way.
And the bottom line is still… LOVE.
Humble, gentle, pure,
This is what I choose.
I love you dearest… all of you… apologetically <3.