How Awful!

Something awful has happened.
I am who I say I am.
Those words have been repeated to me over the past few weeks, as the event of my reappearance at local metaphysical fairs loomed near, and I (felt like I) struggled to prepare myself for it.
It had been one complete year since I’d worked a fair, much less did my readings for anyone but myself and my wife… a solid year hiatus, during which time absolutely everything in my life changed, rearranged, and shifted. I found as I visualized The Return, I had replaced portions of mySelf and my identity as I took on and created a family and home, rather than assimilated these things, adding them to what already was. 
But there is no need to drop anything in order to pick up others.
We do not forget some knowledge to make room for new knowledge, do we?
Even as my artwork “came back” to me— balanced with, and time made for it in the midst of holding a family— yet returned in a new way, a new level, and from a new place, so too my spiritual gifts, purpose, and place began to reOpen, and on a new level themselves!
Being a father has opened new eyes.
Being a husband has opened new perceptions.
Being a human (and accepting this) has opened new… myriad things.
I am who I say I am.
All the things I have fancied myself (and known… and been told) have not been disproven… have not, not panned out… they were cocooned… sleeping… metamorphosizing… while Lloyd grew… shed… and caught up with… LLoyd.
And I am in awe.
How awful!
Those words in my ear were also telling me, What you think you are, you are— no more and no less is possible.
It is up to me, and me alone, to decide who I am, what I do.
My readings were clearer, sharper, less exhausting… my being was more grounded, graceful, and open… I was welcomed back with wide open arms, received with genuine warmth and Love, and given many compliments how even my physical appearance seemed taller, bigger, stronger, happier… I am Loved… and I was missed!
Another thing tied into this that was slowly making its way to the surface within me over the past few weeks was regarding the origins and roots of my self-worth. This, too, boiled over this weekend, and was sentenced to the electric chair as the illusions and unTruths they are.
And now I boldly go where no one has gone before.
Live long and prosper, dear Children!

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