O Daddy…

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This past Friday, Julia got her first immunization shots…
 
This was so hard for me, as well as her.
 
She had done so good for her visit… weighs 12lbs 1oz now, and 23½ inches long… had been her typical good-natured JuJuSelf while the doctor checked her over, poked, prodded, and flipped her around… sat up like a big girl and giggled while the doctor talked to mommy and daddy…
 
And then the nurse came in with three shot needles.
She set them down beside Julia, and Julia looked down at them and started talking to them… new friends! Yay!
 
The nurse laid her down, and I backed out of sight, not wanting my daughter to associate what was coming with daddy… daddy didn’t do it!
 
But with the first prick of the first needle, her coogles turned immediately to screams— screams and cries I have never heard her do before! I could not stay back, I rushed back to try to calm her as two more went in, one after the other: Daddy’s here… daddy’s with you, O my sweet sweet darling…!!!
 
This was my baby’s first experience of pain, real pain… so different than gas bubbles and reflux… and the way she looked up at me in my arms afterwards… big, dark eyes pleading Daddy… Daddy… Help me, Daddy!!!
 
I cried myself right there in the office as I rocked her and assured her she was safe now, it was over… and cried in the car on the drive home… and cried in the evening, when she was still running fever and just laying still, unmoving, not herself, wanting only to be held and cuddled, which I was more than happy to do, and did not want to let her go until she felt better…
 
And finally, after infant Tylenol and more sleeping, she began to act like herself again around 3 AM… even smiled and talked to her Butterfly Friends over her crib… and only then could I begin to relax…
 
 
 
That was such an intense and emotional experience for me… but Daddy was— and will always be— there for her… whatever is necessary… I love her so incredibly much… things are indescribably different when you are a parent… and an emotional, empathic parent on top of that…
 
 
 
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